The story so far...

Once upon a time, there was a little boy whom everyone thought was really smart. His teachers (except the math and science ones) all ooh-ed and ah-ed over his apparent brightness. His classmates picked on him for being a nerd, and his relatives all said to his parents, "I bet he's going to be a professor." The little boy really didn't like the idea of becoming a professor. He had played a professor in his third-grade school play and had to walk around wearing a graduation cap and gown. He had seen a professor on Sesame Street, an old fogey wearing a graduation cap and gown and using a pointer to teach the viewers about circles and squares. He seemed like a very unpleasant man to the little boy so everytime his relatives predicted that he was going to be a professor he vigorously shook his head and said, "I'm going to be an international business lawyer like my uncle!"

Of course, the little boy really didn't want to become an international business lawyer either. His grandmother had put it into his head that he had to become an international business lawyer like his uncle, who was respected and rich. Business, numbers and other such complicated things bored the little boy to tears. At times the little boy thought that he would like to be a science fiction writer, at other times a computer programmer, and for a little while during his early teenage years he had even considered joining the priesthood. He really didn't know what he wanted to be. He just figured that it would sort itself out. What the little boy really liked to do was read. He read history books and fantasy novels and computer programming books. He read philosophy and car magazines and National Geographic. He read role-playing game books and astrology and (on very rare occasions) the newspaper.

Then one day the little boy went to college and discovered that he needed to major in something. Trying to be practical, he decided to take a Java programming class to try out computer science but failed rather miserably. He tried taking a calculus class and had a failing grade at midterm, prompting the registrar to summon him to his office and tell him that he had to shape up. Dejected, the little boy decided to try something new. He decided to take a political science class, Intro to International Relations. The class was taught by a professor, and much to the little boy's surprise, the professor wasn't an old fogey. On the contrary, he was a young, energetic and totally cool dude who could inspire and run intellectual rings around his students. Slowly but surely, the little boy grew to enjoy studying international politics. He took more political science classes and liked them too (except for constitutional law; he didn't like that.). Then one day, the little boy's advisor, Professor Mentorman, asked him what his future plans were, because the little boy was quickly growing bigger.

"Well Professor Mentorman," replied the little boy, "I used to think I would become a lawyer, but I don't like law. Then I thought that I might want to join the priesthood but I don't like celibacy. Then I thought that I wanted to be a computer programmer but I don't like programming. Then I thought that I might try business but I don't like numbers."

Professor Mentorman smiled his wise smile and said, "Have you thought about getting a Ph.D. in political science?"

The little boy's mouth dropped wide open. "Uh...actually, no. Will it hurt?"

Professor Mentorman stroked his beard, "Maybe. Why don't you try writing a thesis and see how you like it?"

The thesis was a big paper that some little boys and girls spent an entire year researching and writing. If you wrote a really good thesis, you got honors. If you didn't, you got no honors and everyone whispered and laughed at you because you spent your entire senior year working in the library instead of having fun like the other boys and girls were doing. The little boy thought about this for awhile and decided that he would try it, so he spent a whole year writing a thesis and discovered that he didn't mind being in the basement of the library at 8 in the morning and leaving at 2 in the morning. In fact, he rather liked it. Other people called him a nerd but by now, the little boy had proudly accepted "nerd" as a badge of honor. Professor Mentorman saw this and thought that it was good.

And so, the little boy applied to graduate school. He was very happy when he was done applying but very sad when the decisions came back. He had applied to eight graduate schools. Then rejection letters came back. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Finally, the eighth letter arrived. It was an acceptance letter from a Big Research University with a Famous Department! The little boy was overjoyed! He graduated from his college with honors, packed his bags, hugged his Mom, Dad and little sister good-bye, and traveled to the Big Research University, all the way across the country.

Life at the Big Research University was very different from college. For one thing, it was Big. For another thing, it was a Research University, not a college, meaning that it was a lot bigger. The little boy got bigger, too, especially around his belly, which got a LOT bigger from eating too many Pepperidge Farm Nantucket Chocolate Chunk cookies. The little boy was not a little boy anymore. He was an Academic-In-Training (AIT for short). The AIT had to live in a city, something he had never done before. He had to learn to ride a city bus. He had to hunt for an apartment. He had to write big research papers and he had to teach. One year passed, then two. The AIT learned many new things. For instance, he learned that grades don't really matter in graduate school. He also learned that people expect Ph.Ds to know things, lots of things, especially things written by other Ph.Ds about things that the AIT didn't understand. He didn't understand why Ph.Ds got so angry with each other over things like theories. At the end of his second year, the AIT realized that he was really bewildered. He became a BAIT, a Bewildered Academic-In-Training (well, he was always a BAIT, he just didn't know it).

One day, the BAIT got a notice in his e-mail inbox. It said that he had to take not one but two examinations. The examinations were big (just like everything else at the Big Research University) and scary. They would test him on those things he didn't like to study, and the Big Boss Professors expected him to know a lot of things. The BAIT felt like he had been landed, hook, line and sinker (you knew that was coming eventually). He felt more bewildered than ever before. Then, the BAIT saw that there were other academics out there and realized that he was not alone. There were all sorts of academics. There were Angry Academics, Bitter Academics, Funny Academics, Happy Academics, Erudite Academics, Panicky Academics, Lecherous Academics, Insane Academics and even a few Old Fogey Academics. Many of them kept blogs. Then the BAIT thought to himself, "Hey! I should keep a blog! Maybe then I won't be so bewildered!" And so, the Little Boy who became a Bewildered Academic-In-Training started this blog in the hopes that he might no longer be bewildered. Will he make it? We'll find out!

If you've gotten this far, congratulations! I'm BAIT, a Bewildered Academic-In-Training. I'm working on my Ph.D. in Political Science at a Big Research University and studying international politics, especially nationalism and conflict processes. I'm about to start my third year in the program and take my comprehensive exams in the fall. There's too much stuff to learn and I need an outlet, so here it is. Thanks for coming along for the ride!