"Sudden Stage Fright" or "Good God! People actually read this schlock?!"

It's amazing how quickly word travels on the Internet. I was catching up on some of my favorite blogs when I came across a recent entry from Jo(e) at "Writing As Jo(e)". She tells about how her blog has gone from being private to being semi-private--her husband and children know about it--and how she felt that it was necessary to delete some of the more personal posts. Some of the commenters have noted that they have had to self-censor as well so as to avoid the risk of personal information falling into the wrong hands. Ivan Tribble's admonition to blogging grad students in The Chronicle of Higher Education looms in the back of my mind.

Curious as to my status on Google, I typed "bewildered academic" into my trusty Firefox search bar and my heart leapt into my throat when I saw that this blog had made it to the Chronicle of Higher Education's academic blog list! Not only that, but a few people have actually mentioned my posts on their blogs. A sudden panic seized me. "Oh my God! People are reading this??? How many lurkers are there? Do they actually think I'm providing career advice??? How's my virtual hair?!". Most of all: "Does anyone I know who isn't supposed to know that this blog exists...know that I write this blog?" So as a precaution I have gone through my own posts and made a few of the more intensely personal ones invisible.

I guess I am still trying to find my voice on this blog. After the craziness of exams and what will (hopefully) be the end of the mad dash to advance to candidacy by the end of June, I am hoping to broaden the scope of my writing beyond variations on the mundane (but never old, especially in grad school) "I've got so much work to do!" lament. One thing I was thinking about was working in a few scriptural reflections as my research interests have recently taken a turn toward the theological. Another possibility is to work in more vignettes, perhaps prompted by those meme lists that periodically circulate through the blogosphere. In short, I want to do some writing that is solely for the pleasure of writing, and if readers enjoy it, well, so much the better.